Slump in Your Hump?

In a slump?

Lately, I've felt the same way. Why is it that sometimes, life goes at such a hectic pace and you feel like you are a black belt karate master, chopping through so many obstacles and daily life to-dos? And then sometimes, you're making it through the day, walking through sludge, attempting to achieve the same results? 

But today, I had an a-ha moment. Thanks for that phrase Oprah. Here is what we think a slump looks like... It's when my customers don't buy anything. It's when team members don't listen or even appreciate me. It's when my business figures don't look great. It's when there is no injection of new life into the business. It's when it is cold outside and you can't remember what it felt like to have the warm sun on your face. Its needing 7 appointments to the dentist. It's disappointment after disappointment. Isn't that what the sludgy, murky, slump looks like? Even just thinking and writing about, I'm feeling depressed and frustrated!

It's a funny word.. Slump. I looked it up and realised it has nothing to do with all those depressing things at all. The word slump means to sit, lean or fall heavily and Limply. To sustain a long and severe fall. To undergo a prolonged fall in value. It's not about circumstance.. It's all about how we respond to that circumstance.

“When you're in a Slump,

you're not in for much fun.

Un-slumping yourself

is not easily done.”

― Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You'll Go!

I think we mistake slump for hump, even though they go in opposite directions. A hump is a difficult part or stage. We all get those! Why does our businesses not grow faster? We are offering so many incredible things! We are willing our businesses to succeed.. We are working hard... Doing everything we can.. Aren't we?

Your business (and your life) will have humps. There is nothing we can do about that. How do we overcome the humps in business and life? We need to exert ourselves, and overcome them. But this just does not happen when there is a slump in your hump. Ooh... How very Dr Seuss of me!

These steps make allowances for humps, but never slumps.. At least not for too long. Your slumps are what slows your business down. If you want to get a great income to achieve an even more amazing dream... Lose the slump. If you want a new car, or an all expenses trip, or both... Lose the slumps. And slumps, by the way, come in all descriptions. Slumps can come across as sound reasoning... I'm just going to take it slow because it's good for ME.... I need to re-evaluate my life and then I'll be up and running again... I don't want to go out ahead to fast because I don't think that's healthy.... Rubbish! As long as you are willing to let go of some of the controls at times, and as long as you continue to work smarter not harder, the speed in which you succeed is irrelevant. You can do this!  Because you are amazing, and your business is the best, regardless of the crappy things that sometimes happens. 

Team... You've got this. Keep it simple. Don't sweat the small stuff (even when it feels like gigantic stuff) and lean on your network of people who are in this with you.

Slumps don't belong in humps.

The Most Satisfying Moment in Vickie's Life

Without a doubt, the most satisfying moment in my life would be walking across a Broadway stage and taking a bow. It seems so little and so simple, but there it is. But I think it's important you know my why.

This is a deeply personal goal of mine and has been for 23 years. I was never interested in theatre until I went to high school and if fact as a child, all I remembered I wanted to be was a doctor. I wish I could have gone back to that 7 year old kid and say "honey, you need to be good at chemistry... And you won't be." Just so I would give up that idea for a more brilliant one. Mind you, I never thought I would run my own business with a team of over 160 people, who's mission it is to see every woman feel good about their skin, inside and out. You can't change the roads you travel in the past can you? But as I get older, I have mellowed about some of those desired roads and become passionate with a refined focus on others. Almost sounds like I'm growing up but hold judgement until the end because I assure you, I'm not and I'm super happy about it.

I have an intimate relationship with the theatre because for me, the theatre gives an adult, who has grown up into an analytical mind with bills to pay, a job to go to and a family to raise, a chance to re-visit their imagination and their creativity... I call this childhood. Though the word 'theatre' was never used growing up, my childhood years were spent in a fantastical make believe place. I was so happy there. I was never NOT happy there. In that place, I WAS a doctor. Or Librarian. Or business owner. I've always had this inkling that even though it is rare for a child to grow up and BE the person they saw in their imagination, it does nonetheless, shape their future. Even when the conscious mind is still not fully formed, the subconscious mind and their make believe world rules the roost! How many adults visit THAT happy place outside of dreaming while they sleep? Kids have totally got the best deal there. They will soon learn right from wrong and make decisions out of those lessons... But as adults.. We still make wrong decisions and sadly, we also don't frequent our happy place very often. It's a bad deal and I for one don't choose it.

For you see, the reason why my imagination ran wild into believing I could be a doctor was simply because I spent a lot of time growing up, in and out of hospitals. And the truth of my make believe (and there always is one) is that I knew more about what was going on in my body than the doctors that treated me.. I just didn't have the voice to express it. So, if I was to be a doctor, I would have a voice. The truth was that I longed to have a voice in this world. That's all I wanted.. To be listened to. To be respected. I wanted someone to say "I hear you Vickie, and I'm going with your suggestion." It's a truth and a desire I still look for today. I want to make sure I have contributed to this world before I leave it.

It wasn't adulthood that helped me refine my focus on which roads to choose in life, it was high school drama. Clinging to my childhood ideals, I entered high school almost like a punch h in the face. Welcome to the cold hard reality of schedules and homework and exams. But in the clearing, just past the blur of early morning rises and races to the school bus, was drama class. Just when my daydreaming was over, drama class allowed me to explore again into the world of creativity and imagination. It was more refined now, with specific outcomes, but it was still my happy place. Truthfully, my refined happy place has taught me how to refine so many goals much later in life. Who knew that silly little drama class, the one people take because it's an easy pass and they don't give exams, who knew that drama would shape so much of my adult life?! I did... I had that moment, when I was 16 years old.

It was the first major show I had tickets for. I went with my Mum and neither of us knew what to expect. Evita is a musical about Eva Peron. We had no idea who she was and almost 2 minutes after the curtain was opened, the storyline was lost on us. That was, until the 2nd half when we rushed through the synopsis in the programme. In that first half, all I could do was watch and listen and experience this magical thing before me. I was taken away by it. Before I closed my eyes that night, I decided that I wanted to be on that stage. Even more, I wanted to be on Broadway. The stage is another world... I didn't need to perform on it... I just wanted to walk across it, walk into it, be enveloped by it.. If just for a few moments. 

The following year I got my first part and was given a small role in a major production, performing at the regent theatre. The regent theatre in Dunedin is without a doubt, my favourite theatre. And throughout the rest of my life so far, Broadway has been there... In the background... Waiting for me. 

When I joined Nutrimetics almost 13 years ago, I decided I needed to get to Broadway before my 40th birthday. This once in a lifetime trip was going to be supported by my Nutrimetics business. Of course, then life gets in the way and I went down a couple of roads I wished I hadn't travelled. All the while, Nutrimetics was there, in the background, keeping company with my Broadway stage.  For 11 years it remained there, until in 2014, I made my move. I was ready to pursue my Nutrimetics career and business and I was long overdue for a trip to New York. If this happens only once in my life, I reasoned, it MUST happen now.

I am now 39 years old so earlier this year I booked my flights to NYC. This is the BIG one. Or so I thought... Until Nutrimetics recently announced that their big trip next year, is NEW YORK!!! I'm still in tears over the thought that my once in a life time trip could happen twice and within 10 months of each other... I'm practically a local!  I have a big challenge to achieve this trip and I won't be doing it alone... But I can feel it! And, because I'm still, thankfully, a child at heart, I can make believe it happens! I'm there, for the second time in my life. The stage door opens for me, the curtains are open. I walk across and take my bow. And if you reader, are with me... You will also witness... the moment I feel I have been heard. The moment I acknowledge myself . The moment I experience the joy of just... being.. me.

I can't wait.

Mother's Day

It's one of those rare moments of the year (apart from birthday and Christmas) that you get to tell Mum how grateful you are to have her as a mum. You get to say 'I love you mum,' even though she knows it's perfectly okay to tell her that every OTHER day too. You shower her with gifts you took ages to get because she likely has everything she needs, except for maybe some time with her children and grandchildren. Instead, she gets a scarf or a book. She is so thankful for them as she adds them to her scarf and book collections.

It is especially lovely when the generations come together to celebrate the day. Mums of the family, United through motherhood! The grandparents feeling especially overjoyed because they got to experience the heart exploding joy of motherhood again when grandchildren entered their world. The next generation mothers are feeling wonderful too because they celebrate their mum and at the exact same time, celebrate themselves for being the best mums they could be. There's a beautiful symmetry to it all isn't there? After all, there is nothing in the world quite like motherhood. It changes your life, figure and the very core of who you are.

Or so I have been told. Many times. Oh what a blissful thing to hear! If you did not catch my thinly veiled sarcasm, then allow me this one moment to speak on my frustration, delight and grief that occurs, well, everyday, but most especially on Mothers Day.

Would the women without children in this world, please stand up. Yes, you, down the back of a church, smiling as mothers are given their reward for being mothers. You, who makes this day all about their mum, so to perhaps distract yourself enough to not notice the day that did not really include you. It's okay, I know you'll cry about it later. And yes, even you, the one who slept in til 1 just because you felt like it.

I know who you are. I AM you. 

I was scrolling through Google today to find some nice encouraging quotes to send your way, but Google, Oh how you've let me down! Let's see... There is the quote about losing a child, about losing a mother or the quote about loving the freedom of being childless... Hooray!!! Then there is my favourite.. The quotes about how I will have my time soon.. Just hang in there! Some day.. You WILL be a mother! There are quotes about how mother-less people are still mothers deep down because they care for the whole world or even quotes stating the being aunties, are kinda LIKE being a mother, but you get to give them back when they cry and stamp their feet! Phew, right?!

The truth is, the world just can't get a handle on what to call us. Are we mothers-to-be or wanna-be-mums with the horror of infertility? Are we mums who have lost our baby, but mums even still? Are we the feminist-I-choose-not-to-have-children types or the type who is still waiting for THE ONE man to live their life and have babies with?  We have no title and we have no baby. As a child-less/free person I am going to attempt to share with you what goes through my thought process over this subject. Perhaps I will debunk a few myths and surprise you mothers in the process. 

First of all, there are women who choose NOT to have children. I was not one of them, but they are out there. The so-called void, dedicated to only being filled by being a mother is absolute rubbish. Ahh mums, before you think 'she would say that because she has no idea what it's like'... Just remember... You were young once. Remember that childhood when you went on school camp and had homework and a loving family that went on holidays together.. and you're camping, looking up at the stars at night, feeling both full from the BBQ you had earlier and completely empty from the endless void you feel because you have never been a mother? Remember? No you don't you silly sausage, because the void did not exist. For those who have never experienced childbirth and/or who have not raised a human..  The void STILL does not exist. It seems that void only enters the scene when you become a mother. I'm not saying there isn't desire and longing.. But desire and longing is experienced by everyone for many things. The 'void' I am sure, is a creation made up from companies like Johnson and Johnson and Huggies. 

Can I just add a very a vital side note at this article. When I say 'child-less/free people' I do not include those who have lost a child either during their pregnancy, childbirth or at any point after. You have a category all of your own. You have lost so much and the grief must be immense. But, and I say this with deep respect and love, you are STILL a mother. I can't even begin to imagine how that might feel, to be a mother without a child, and I won't attempt to. But as sad as it is, you still held a human inside of you. Even if you never held your baby in your arms, you carried it, for however short that may have been. I think it's the greatest hug one could give another. You did that. That's why you are a mother even after the hug is over. 

I have gone through such a mixture of emotions about this subject in my life. Perhaps I am the only example of my kind. For I am the one who waited for THE ONE who never came.. Which is fine, because I am also the one who has about a 1% chance of ever getting pregnant, carrying or delivering a healthy baby. I am also the one who always believed she would be an amazing mum. I really do think that. I am the one who has felt actual pain and heart-exploding joy all at the same time as she watches her sisters have children. I am also the one who feels like she has a share of ownership in her nieces and nephews so much so that sometimes, I just want to say... "Look, I think I can do this part better, so let me just handle it ok?" I sometimes also feel that the decisions my sisters make about their children, have not included me and it feels wrong. I feel like every time they do that, I am divorced from my sisters and I am reminded yet again, that I am not the mother. It kills me. 

But I am also the one who has found a peaceful place, being without children. I wouldn't say I am at peace, but I know the place where peace resides and I visit frequently. I might retire there... A happy, stylish childless, stress-less old spinster who does whatever she wants and probably talks to herself. I am the one who appreciates the freedom now. It has been a long hard road finding that place, but now that I have found it, I try to go there as often as I can. I don't want my sisters life. I like sleeping in. In fact, it's lunchtime now and I'm still in bed, typing this. I like that I can do that. I should be allowed to feel good about doing that too. Why is it that those who do not have children are expected to be up just before sunrise, because those with kids are up too. My sisters and I have a great arrangement now, but it wasn't always that way. When my eldest was born, she would wake up so early. When I was staying, her dad would get her up and bring her into my room, then go back to bed! I'm not complaining because she was adorably cuddly and I was still in my "I want one" phase. But my dear one grew up and in her auntie's footsteps, she LOVES to sleep in. My other three are still fairly early to rise and it was a struggle whenever I stayed. But bless her, my little sis cottoned onto that a while ago and she makes a point of getting up when the children rise, and she promptly closes my door so the children don't wake their auntie. God bless my sisters! Because when I am awake, I'm the auntie who plays with her children, making up games with them and doing crazy things with our imaginations all while taking photos of every moment from every angle. I am THAT person.

I guess the point I am trying to make is that we who are without the joy of knowing what it's like to be pregnant or what it's like to raise human beings. We.. are a complicated group. But on Mother's Day, we would like to be acknowledged. We would like to be thanked, if even just once, for our contribution. We don't want to take away from the mums with children and especially from the mums without children. We just want our place. Because with or without children, we are all women. Yes, all of us. Those who get pregnant with a glance, those who try for years to find themselves successful at long last or never. Those who enjoy the freedom of not having children and those who never had a chance. We are all still women, and we ALL deserve, at the very least, 1 day, dedicated to us.

So if you are pregnant or breastfeeding... Grab the grape juice! If you are trying, race for the folate! If you are still in bed, grab the champagne because drinking champagne in bed is totally awesome... And ladies, raise your glass, pat yourself on the back, and cheers... To you! And cheers to me!

Happy Mother's Day.

Vickie xx